Becoming the statue of liberty!!

I am trying to make my writing more exciting for the reader by varying ny sentence beginnings and using descriptive language.

 

Use punctuation

Add adjectives and verbs

Use a variety of sentence lengths .

Selfie Writing 1st Draft - Paige

Becoming the statue of liberty

Hey,  guess what? I am the new statue of liberty. Great right? I think there are awesome changes, like now I have a crown I feel like the queen of England!! I feel great, normally I feel sick but not this time!!

I can see everything, like people walking down the street, cars going through  red lights.  You know what, I yell at them  at the top of my stoney lungs,  watch it fools.

The weird thing is I was walking along the street of New York City, and all of a sudden “poof!” I was high up in the sky.

What I think happened was I was walking down the street, then a wizard, with his long beard, came out of nowhere and shot me with his magical wand. That is what I think happened anyway.

You know I could be wrong. Who knows?  I don’t really care because this is my dream.  My  arms are going to get sore after a while,  my eyes are going to sting from all the flashing lights of the cameras, but it’s  worth it!  I don’t know if I will wake up and I will be back to normal. Or I’ll  be stuck up here forever.

By Paige

Yum!!

I am trying to make my writing more exciting for the reader by varying my sentence beginnings and using descriptive language.

Use a variety of sentence beginnings

Use punctuation

Add adjectives and verbs

Use a variety of sentence lengths

Yum!!

Beep beep. “Ahh.” I groaned still lying in bed. “I can’t be bothered getting out.” Slowly I rolled out of bed and hit the hard floor. I quickly ran to the warm shower and spent a long time in there. Eventually I get out of the shower and head down stairs. Suddenly I get a waft of a delicious smell. Then I remember it was my brothers birthday,

then I saw them, the delicious looking pancakes smothered in whipped cream and golden syrup. I said to myself, how could I eat something so good looking. But you know, I did.